I know most people jump all over this thing as soon as something happens in their life. I prefer the procrastinator's way of doing things...

Its been over a week now since we packed up our life in the desert and headed towards the Pacific oasis. It was quite the lonely drive as I followed Ryan and Bella (now known as Izzy) in the UHaul but I guess I couldn't complain about "Felipe" in the new Mazda! We were greeted with a warm welcome and tons of Calvary people moving everything out of the huge truck and into our apartment in about 20 minutes! Some of our new students even decorated our door with posters representing California specific icons. I also got to attend Ryan's first staff meeting where we were introduced to everyone. The staff is great and so so sweet. So far, our experience with Calvary and the people here has been refreshing. I love seeing Ryan just so excited about his job and role here and experience a kind of freedom that he so deserves. I can't wait to see what else is in store for us here because its evident that great things are happening and we're honored to be a part of it all.

Here are some pictures of our first week in California:



P.S. Bella is now Izzy because we couldn't keep her in our apartment so Eric, who works with Ryan, and his wife and two little girls adopted her from us. One of their girls' name is Ella so this ended up being quite confusing for both dog and baby. We were super excited about this adoption as Izzy's new family is so great and they have an awesome backyard for her to play in. We know they will take excellent care of her and love her as much as we do. I'm sure she will do the same for them :) Plus, she is only a mile away and we get to see her whenever we want and they have built-in dog sitters!!

So, a lot has changed in my life this past month. I have become an aunt, said good-bye to my family and new nephew after only 2 days, packed up my 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house in AZ, said goodbye to friends and family there, traveled 7 hours to move our stuff into a 1 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment, and say hello to new friends. Whew, who needs Disneyland when you can just live my rollercoaster of a life?!?! One thing remains the same though and that is that God is good and so much of this change is because of our obedience to Him. Like I said, we're excited for this adventure and starting fresh with people we already love!

Long overdue

Wow....where do I even begin to update you on my life the past month?? First things first, I am an AUNT!! On Friday, June 13, 2008 my big sister gave birth to her baby boy, Eli Ryan Stumpf. I'm not sure I will be able to find the words to describe what this has done to me. I already have tears forming in my eyes as I think about this little person who stole all of our hearts before he was even the size of a pea. You see, this baby was prayed for and prayed for for over 2 years as Kari and Aaron waited patiently to become pregnant. The months of tearful phone calls from my sister began to wear me down as I took on her pain and burden. Now, 9 months after the call we had all been waiting for, we stare at this miracle and my heart feels like it could burst. I don't know if I am just an overly emotional person or if its because there is just something special about sisters, but watching Kari become a mother has brought so much joy! I'm excited to see how Kari and Aaron grow together now as a little family with their son. Basically, what I am trying to say is Eli has already brought so much to our family and we are all absolutely nuts about him!! I can't even imagine what its going to be like to love my own children :)

Californiaaaa...Californiaaaa...here we cooooooomeeee!

I spent all day Friday in California apartment hunting, as Ryan and I are moving to "Cali" in two weeks (sorry Calvary peeps, its just easier to say). The hunt was successful and I found us an apartment to move into on June 18th!!! Crazy!! Only bummer...we can't have Bella there. I'm going to lose it again if I think about it so thats enough for now. Anyways, just wanted to give the update.

P.S. We are 7 miles from the beach so all you AZ folk, COME VISIT!

Man's Best Friend??

Ok, so I've decided two things about our 2 year old Boxer, Bella. First, she is totally a mamma's girl. I cannot go anywhere in the house without her on my heels. Its endearing, but some times a little much. Second, she is way more intuitive than I give her credit for. Ever since we started packing up our house for the big move to California, she has been whimpering and whining and so so mopey. She won't come into a room if I am packing a box, she will stand at the doorway staring at me. She has also become very skiddish, but I think this is all because she knows that something is going on, something big. What I love about her mamma's girl, intuitive personality is that she stays even closer by my side on weekends like this where Ry is away at "Man Camp". God calls us out of lives fueled by fear and into His comfort and I'm pretty sure he created my beautiful little creature to be a tangible proof of that. I know she wants to protect me and can sense that I am a little uneasy alone. Perhaps its the part of my woman soul that longs for a different kind of little creature, but for now, Bella is my baby :)

What if He is silent?

We've all prayed for neon lights or a "sign" to point us in the direction God wants us to go. But what about those times where He, as many fathers do at times, is silent as He watches his child make the decision? I think this happens more often than not, even Mother Teresa, when asked to pray for clarity denied the request because its not necessarily clarity that we need but trust. Its about trusting God not to give me what I think I need but to see me through. Journey vs destination. This is extremely hard for me as I figure out what trusting God is all about. I'm thinking that as long as I'm seeking him in the decision, I can't go wrong.

Ryan and I are facing one of the biggest decisions we will ever make in our marriage. This decision will be the start of a journey where we really see our two lives become one. We will learn to depend on each other more so than we have needed to here in Arizona. This is a decision that will not only affect us but our families, our friendships, our unborn children.

Please pray for Ryan and I as we set out to trust God. Pray for me, as a wife, that I would also trust Ryan as he leads our family, that I would support him because I know that he has my best interest in mind. I am excited for the change on the horizon and getting to fully experience what it means to cleave to my husband as we are now our own little family.

P.S. Please also pray that I don't have to give my Bella girl away to move somewhere. Thinking about that is the closest thing I think I can experience to being a mother and loving my "child" so so much :)

Pessimism wore me out, Fear suffocated my soul

I will try to put into words what my heart wants to shout. I think I have not been able to blog because my fingers cannot keep up with my brain so I give up and settle for keeping my life to myself. Sometimes thats ok, even Mary treasured up her most surreal moments and pondered them in her heart. This, however, I want to share. Not only because of the liberation I am experiencing for myself but because I am absolutely convinced that many other women (and men for that matter) are bound by the same chains I allowed to hold me captive for years.

If my enemy could dangle anything in front of me to steer me off course, I know without a doubt it would be fear. Isn't it interesting and sickening how I found "security" in my fear. To those of you, like my husband, who seem to give fear a run for its money, this probably sounds absurd but stay with me. See, I let my fear of "ANYTHING sink in so deep to who I was that it became my familiar ground. It felt safe to fear because then I was in control. For example, my fear of being rejected by friends and family turned into my attempt to be their Holy Spirit. If I could only make sure they all loved me the way I wanted them to then I would never be hurt again.I have allowed myself to believe untrue things about myself, my husband, my friends, my family, and especially my God. In hindsight, I can point back to very specific incidences that perhaps were God's attempts at teaching, but instead, I allowed them to be instruments of defeat which skewed my trust in the One who is Truth.

This past week I read a book. I mean, read it. Like, started and finished it. I can't tell you the last time I did that. (These past 3 years have been crazier than I'm letting on). It simply walked through some familiar books of the Bible to lay out what each has to say about Jesus and the Way. Reading through this book was like one of those moments where you start to doubt how you still feel about someone you love because you've just been distant for a time, but then you catch a glimpse of them in a new way and your heart rejoices because it knows that your love is right and true. I was thinking today how cool God is to give me the ability to fall more in love with Ryan tonight than I even was this morning. No wonder marriage is a tangible reflection of Christ's love for the his bride, the Church, us. I can't tell you that I fear no more. But I can tell you that my fresh run-in with Christ this week has helped me decide to make the conscious decision to draw on His strength in my moments of fear. This will be something I have to decide to do every morning. To start training my brain to trust Him, and in return when fear comes lurking around to lure me back, I can face it head because of these words of my Jesus....

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" John 14:27

Ok Lord, here we go...

Representin' in the Ville

Yes, I am a Westerville North graduate and no, that is not our mascot.

Do not be afraid

We have a dog named Bella. She is a perky boxer who most of the time thinks she is human. She also thinks she is a lap dog and apparently hasn't figured out that she weighs about half of my own body weight. A few months ago....

every time I go to blog...a kid wakes up and I have to shut the computer. I don't even have kids. I need a new job....


go read Ryan's blog...its way better than this one

I have arrived

yay!

:)